Steaming Hot Hibachi Grill!
by HollowArtistWithTheBrokenSmile
Summary: Rukia, recently fired from her old bar, finds new employment, where blast from the past Ichigo Kurosaki works. With old memories dredged up for the both of them, as well as Ichigo's shady involvement with drugs and foreigners, what will happen to our beloved pairing? Contains drug references, sexual references and possible future sex scenes. Please review and enjoy! IchiRuki!
1. Chapter 1

Steaming Hot Hibachi Grill

Disclaimer: Future chapters will contain drug references and possible sex scenes.

Devils Three way - a threesome with two men and one woman

Love Sandwich - a threesome with two women and one man

Lucky Pierre - a threesome with three men

Chapter One

First Impressions

Rukia

"_Oh, Rukia, I'm so excited! We haven't gone out for dinner in so long! Lets have fun!" Orihime's giggly and light voice rang out in the evening air as Ishida laughed and ruffled her hair, his other hand clasped in hers tightly. Momo just blushed a bit and sighed, while Tatsuki and I just walked down the street, glad to be off nights for once. Work could really suck ass, sometimes._

_It had been like this for awhile now. We girls usually went out for drinks and dinner ourselves, but three months ago, when Orihime and Ishida got together, she would guilt us into letting him tag along. Don't get me wrong, I was really happy for them, but sometimes their lovers nature was a bit… nauseating. Tatsuki pretended to throw up next to me as Ishida and Orihime leaned in for a passionate kiss outside the restaurant. Jesus, if you're going to do it, get out of my face!_

_We stepped into the dim front room of the Hibachi Grill and Bar, the place smelling of really good and deliciously fried food. After a really long day at work, I was practically melting at the mouth as a hostess led us to a totomi. We sat ourselves down and got comfortable. More like, Orihime and Ishida giggled in their corner, Tatsuki and Momo talked the martial arts circuit, something Tatsuki was still apart of, and I shot down shot after shot of hard sake, wishing my alcohol tolerance wasn't as good as a truckers. Try to drink me under the table, I dare you._

_A pretty cute waitress finally took our orders, and she bowed, saying that our cook would be out soon. He came to our totomi pretty fast, and I nearly spurted sake out of my nose in an attempt not to laugh at him. He kept his eyes averted as he heated up the huge and somewhat intimidating grill, reading a slip of paper with our orders as he spread oil and butter across the gray surface, a searing sound ripping through the air as our idle chitchat stopped, quieted by his intimidating presence._

_He was a handsome and cocky looking man, with the most ridiculous hair I had ever seen. He can't be serious! It has to be dyed that way! Right? It was the most vibrant and crazy shade of orange I had ever seen, and I had the strange and sudden urge to run my hands through his locks. He wore one of those cool chef jackets, but in black, as well as a black apron, black slacks and black boots. His eyes met mine as soon as I had the thought, and he smiled slowly, his entire face transforming with the single motion, simultaneously flipping two knives through the air, the others oohing and aahing at the sight, as the metal zinged in the dim lighting. His eyes gleamed as he returned them to his work, and I quickly took my fifth shot of sake, hoping my red face went unnoticed. Or chalked it up to the sake. The waitress came back to replace drinks, and I requested a bottle of tequila. The cook chuckled at that as he placed rice, noodles and vegetables on the sizzling grill, and I grit my teeth, really hoping the tequila would get me at least a little drunk. Or give me a bit of a buzz._

_My tequila arrived and the first half of my meal was placed delicately on my plate, with yet another grin from the cook. I downed a shot before digging into the food, almost moaning at the taste. It was really goddamn good. Kind of surprising, considering this is a bit of a tourist place._

_He started to sear the meat, and I finished off the small bottle of tequila, finally feeling a bit woozy and off balanced, but still coherent enough to hold my chopsticks and eat my chicken and scallops as they landed on my plate. Damn good, the scallops done to perfection, the chicken mouthwateringly divine. We ate our food with relish as he quickly cleaned the grill, my food sitting well in my stomach. He gave the grill one last scrub before wiping off his hands and saying his farewells._

_"We greatly appreciate your visit to our restaurant. We hope to see you again. Have a good night." His voice was low but commanding, almost quiet in such an intimate setting. He rose from his bow and his eyes met mine again. The others clapped and thanked him for the meal, and he accepted them, without ever breaking eye contact with me. He didn't grin that time as he broke his eyes away and left the totomi. My heart fluttered as the sliding door clicked shut, and I looked down, running a hand through my hair, hands shaking as I tried to grasp my chopsticks. Why the hell am I acting like this?! Its just one man who got a little friendly! Stop acting so needy! His naughty smile and captivating eyes never left my mind as I finished the meal._

_Six months later_

_"F-fired?!"_ I could hardly believe my ears as the words left his mouth, my hands curling into fists at my side. I tried to keep my composure, but I really felt like ripping off his stupid, conceited little head. And ramming it onto a spike outside my apartment. _I really have issues._

"Sorry, Rukia, but the customers really complain about your attitude here. If my customers are unhappy, I'm going to do what it takes to fix that. And if that means firing an employee, then so be it." Toshiro's eyes met me straight on as he fired me, even though I was taller than the white haired little bastard.

"Toshiro, is this about that bar brawl last week?! Seriously, the dumbass had the nerve to call me a virginal little prude because I wasn't willing to have a Devil's Threeway with him and his roommate-"

"Ah, ah, please stop! I don't need the full description!" His little pale ears turned red at the phrase 'Devil's Threeway', and I had to laugh. "And yes, it had to do with that, as well as other contributing factors. I'm sorry Rukia, but many of the customers are going to be like that, and you have to learn to deal with it. I wouldn't mind if you had just slapped him, but you went so far as to try and rip off his… y'know. You nearly broke his jaw, and his face needed stitches! You're lucky he was too scared to press charges."

"Well excuse me for being a woman with moral standards and self respect! You want me gone, fine! But you're going to regret this, Toshiro." With that, I turned on my heel and left, glad to have my purse still in hand and jacket on, since I had just come in to pick up my check. Didn't think it would be my last check. I made sure to slam the door as hard as I could, not really giving a damn anymore. Not that I ever really did care.

I just closed my eyes and started walking down the sidewalk, the street a bit busy at 4 p.m. in the restaurant/bar district of Karakura. I sighed and rubbed my temples as I tried to get the sounds to drown out, finally opening my eyes as I turned a corner into a back alley, not really caring where it led out to. I walked pretty carelessly, almost hoping some creeper would notice me and try to start something. I could really, really use a physical outlet. But of course, I hold a special place in the heart of the universe, and I walked out of the alley unscathed, onto a street full of touristy bars and grills that rang a few, cobweb covered bells. _Why is this street familiar?_

I kept walking, balancing on the edge of the curb, purse dangling from the crook in my elbow, keeping nearly perfect form, getting a few honks from passing taxis. I made sure to flip them off, spinning a 180 and stopping in front of a window to a bar with a sign in bright red that caught my eye. It read HELP WANTED, with the description of a waiter/bartender position, paying about 1277.75 yen an hour, about $12.50, including tips as a waiter, with shared tips as a bartender. Pretty decent pay, and a hell of a lot better than my last job. I stepped back and looked at the sign of the place, chuckling a bit before freezing as I recognized the place, not by the name, but by the words Hibachi Grill and Bar. That night six months ago, I had never spotted the actual name of the place. The full name was Twin Swords Hibachi Grill and Bar. Interesting. The hours said 6 p.m. - 3 a.m. Monday - Friday, 8 p.m. - 3 a.m. on Saturdays, and Sundays were closed. Not bad hours, and I liked having sundays off. That day was a Monday, and since the place opened in an hour and a half, I knew people would be in preparing, so I pushed against the door, sighing in relief as it popped open, a little bell overhead ringing quite cutely. Two girls were out preparing the floor in front of the bar, while yelling and steam emitted from the kitchen somewhat behind and to the right side of the bar.

The two girls looked up, and I grinned sheepishly. Damn. Maybe I should have called first and actually made an appointment? Well, already walked into the lions den, and mama is awake. At least I always carry a copy of my renesmee on me. Who knew I'd need it?

"Good afternoon, ladies. I apologize for barging in, but I was wondering if there is someone I can talk to about the available position?" I made sure to bow deeply before speaking and rose up mid way through my greeting. The two girls looked at one another, and I noticed that one was quite cute, while the other was drop-dead, spill-your-coffee-on-your-lap-so-she-can-clean-it-up-for you, gorgeous. They both grinned and greeted me warmly, pointing me to a door on the left side of the bar, with the words 'Manger' spray painted in red, in surprisingly curlicue and elegant script. Don't usually associate sophistication and graffiti together, but whatever. I said my thank you's and walked over to the door, knocking twice before letting myself in. Here goes nothing.

It was a neat and quaint little office, with two beautiful and glistening mahogany desks, covered in papers and a few knick knacks, as well as the strong odor of sake, coming from the desk farthest from me. A man with long white hair and pale skin sat behind the desk, red in the face and a little bleary eyed, while a man with long brown hair and a bit of scruff sat balancing on the edge of the desk, a little pink and laughing his ass off about something. They both looked up and all noise stopped as I opened my huge mouth, slamming the door, so no one outside could hear me. Hopefully.

"WHO THE HELL GETS DRUNK BEFORE FIVE?! AND JUST BEFORE THE BAR OPENS FOR THE FIRST SHIFT?! WHAT THE HELL, ARE YOU GUYS DUMBASSES OR WHAT?!" The words just seemed to drop from my lips of their own accord, and I literally wanted to kick my own ass at that point, thinking they were about to throw me out. Instead, they just looked at each other and laughed their asses off again, the man with the brown hair laughing so hard that he fell onto the floor, his head making a thunk! sound, but he sat up unfazed, as if he concussed himself for fun. He eventually stood up and they both quieted down, the fallen man making his way to his desk as the white haired man spoke.

"Ah, what spunk! I like that in people. I presume you are here for the job? Or at least, I hope so! Gotta love an employee with an opinion. Oh, please, take a seat. Shunsui doesn't bite. Not hard, anyway." The strange man winked at me, and he looked surprisingly young, despite the hair color. He did look a bit ill, though. His skin was quite pale, and his body looked worn, but his eyes were alive and content. He pointed me to a chair roughly in front of Shunsui's desk, and I sat down delicately, not really knowing what to think about those two. I ruffled through my purse and placed my renesmee on Kyoraku's desk, discovering his last name from the name plate in shining silver, placed haphazardly on the surface of the desk. He stood and picked it up, walking over to the other man, whose name plate read Jushiro Ukitake. Kyoraku pulled a chair over and sat down next to him as they mused over the paper.

"Quite impressive, Ms. Rukia. Graduated high school at the top of your class, then immediately went to bartending school, finishing just after two weeks. You got your first job at eighteen and have been working for the past eight years. You have worked at the White Dragon Bar for the past five, and have been awarded Best Bartender in Karakura for the past two years. Well. Seems you're a bit overqualified for the position."

"Yes, but Ukitake, what choice is there? You're hired!" Kyoraku picked up a cup of sake and sucked it down, not even sweating the bitter taste.

"Wait, what? Aren't you going to ask for my criminal record, or why I am currently unemployed?" What the hell? Why hire me so fast? And hell, why am I questioning it?!

"Eh, you don't really look like the criminal sort, but I would like to hear the last part. Hell, the whole staff should hear it! C'mon, you have to meet them at some point!" With that, Kyoraku and Ukitake led me out of the office, and to the main floor before the bar, the girls sitting at the bar and chatting. Kyoraku called them over, and got a few more people from the kitchen, and the rest of the employees arriving as we all gathered. A straggler walked out of the kitchen, in a slightly unbuttoned black chefs jacket, black slack, black apron and black boots, with ridiculous hair that my hands itched to feel, in a shade of orange impossible to find in a box. Yet it can't be real, right? His eyes met mine as he walked over, the others sitting at the tables on the floor, Ukitake and Kyoraku sitting at the bar. Orange head finally sat down, and the two men introduced me.

"Guys," Ukitake started, clearing his throat to get their attention. "This is Rukia Kuchiki, who is filling in the old position. This is Rangiku, Nanao and Isane, who will be working with you on the floor. This is Nemu, Kiyone and Soi-Fong, who work in the totomi. And those men are Renji, Chad, Ichigo, Izuru and Shuhei, who trade off in the kitchen and the totomi." He pointed to each person as he said their corresponding name, and I tried to memorize them, shock nearly having me keel over as I recognized the name and hair. _Ichigo… Kurosaki?! What in the hell is a Kurosaki doing here?! Damn, that hair is still as vibrant and annoying as ever. Definitely calling you Strawberry. Yep._ They all mumbled hellos, and I nodded.

"Now, I do believe you were going to tell us why you left the White Dragon Bar, Rukia. After that lecture from before, I bet this will be interesting." I turned back to see Kyoraku grin and I sighed, walking towards them to sit next to them at the bar. Great. They'll probably think I'm crazy, but whatever. I took a deep breath before speaking.

"Alright, so Saturday night, I was working the bar," I ran a hand through my hair as I found my spot on the opposite wall, not really wanting to make eye contact with these people. "It was around midnight when these two guys walked in. One guy went off somewhere, while the other came up to the bar and ordered a few shots of tequila. He said some things, and I beat the shit out of him. Thats it." I really didn't feel like going any further than that, but they weren't having it.

"Aww, c'mon! What'd he say?" The redhead, Renji, spoke up, and I made eye contact with him, sighing as the others agreed. My eyes unwillingly traveled over to Ichigo, but he wasn't really paying attention. I spoke through my teeth.

"_Fine._ He asked me to have a Devil's Threeway with his roommate, and I said no. He called me a virginal prude, and tried to climb over the bar. So, I climbed over the bar and beat the shit out-"

"Oh,_ damn_! That video went viral Saturday night! Let me find it on my phone!" The one named Rangiku interrupted me as she pulled out her phone, the others gathering behind her as she searched. Even Ukitake and Kyoraku got up to watch. Only Ichigo remained, sitting at a table and picking at his nails, looking anywhere but me or the group huddled over Rangiku. She turned the volume all the way up,and I sat there, red in the face, as the sounds of me beating the shit out of the bastard met my ears. After the video, they all looked at me and laughed their asses off, some giving me nods of appreciation. Ichigo just looked at me with a strange expression.

"Asking for a Devil's Threeway! He could have at least asked for a Love Sandwich. You should have told him to take his roommate boyfriend and find someone else for a Lucky Pierre. Did he press charges?" All their eyes turned to meet mine, and I nearly laughed.

"No, he was too much of a pansy. I sent him home with a dislocated jaw and stitches in his face. Pretty good night. My boss, Toshiro, took that as the last straw, and fired me this afternoon. So, here I am." I averted my eyes as they scattered, laughing and reliving the video. Kyoraku whistled as he walked by, saying he now knows not to cross me. I chuckled at that, as the girl called Nanao came over to me with a bundle of clothes in hand.

"Here. This is the uniform for the waitresses and bartenders, and it looks like it should fit you alright. Your shoes will do. Follow me." She smiled softly before leading me to a bathroom across the room, letting me change and showing me the break/locker room, where all the employees kept their things. She gave me a locker and the number, and I put my things away, stopping in front of the mirror on the back of the door. The uniform wasn't bad, though it was a bit scandalous. It was a short, black pleated skirt, that came down to mid thigh, with a tucked in, white button up shirt with a black silk neck tie, and Nanao straightened it for me, the material and color matching my bra, something you could definitely see through my shirt. _Yeah, yeah. The better you look, the better the tips._

I wore black combat boots, and black thigh highs, and after Nanao deemed me ready, we headed out to the floor, our shift just about to start. _Well, this should be fun. No messing up. Lose this job, and it'll be hard to find another one. Remember: all or nothing. Half assed work gets you nowhere in this world._


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

Night On the Floor

Rukia

_Jesus, these people are animals_. _I feel more dirty than the vomit and beer covered floors_. _At least the tips are good_. The clock just informed me that it was just past midnight, only three hours to go, and I had already made nearly 2412 yen, or about 200 dollars. Not bad for only six hours of work. Rangiku and Nanao were working the floor, the totomi part of the restaurant already closed around ten. I worked the bar with Isane while the cooks from the totomi were sitting at the bar, just a few feet to my left. As the hours passed, and more customers were cut off and thrown out, Renji, Chad, Shuhei and Izuru trickled out, thrashed off their asses. Ichigo stayed at the seat, helping play bouncer when customers got too handsy or needed to be cut off. Around two, after throwing out a bald man with an unhealthy obsession with hawaiian shirts and Rangiku's breasts, he settled down at the bar, as close to me as he could get. He sighed a bit and ran a hand through his hair, placing his forehead against the smooth wood of the bar. I turned around and quickly grabbed some liquor, as he remained face down.

"You look like you need a hard drink. Drink fast. You _don't_ want to sip this." He raised his head as I spoke, and I slammed an Afterburner #2 in front of him, which consisted of an oz of vodka, and a half oz of tabasco sauce, both in separate shot glasses. He eyed me strangely, but I just nodded.

"You take the vodka shot, and then the tabasco, but you have to be quick."

"Tabasco? Never heard that one before. Are you sure about this?" He hesitantly picked up both shots, vodka in his right, tabasco in his left. I just nodded again and he sighed, closing his eyes and inhaling sharply before taking the first shot. He gasped as he swallowed the vodka, barely taking a breath as he swallowed the tabasco. I got him a shot of cold water, and he took it gratefully, his ears turning red, which looked comical against his orange hair. I laughed at that as he tried to breath around the fire on his tongue, gasping and panting like a dog.

He eventually calmed down, and ordered an Ultimate Mudslide, while I fixed myself a 24k Nightmare. His drink took the longest, and I made it first, surprised at the pick. _Who knew strawberry had a sweet tooth? And for_ _chocolate, of all things_. The drink consisted of vodka, kahlua, Bailey's irish cream, cream, milk, banana, ice and chocolate. Pretty good, actually. Mine was made of some tougher stuff: Goldschlager, Jagermeister, Rumple minze and 151 proof rum. Ichigo sipped his while I quickly took my shot, glad the rules of drinking on the job weren't that strict. Closing was in an hour anyway, so there wasn't a whole lot going on.

"So… Kuchiki, huh? Strange, to see _y__our_ kind here." My hand nearly slipped on the glass I was drying off, and I looked up, to find a pair of mysterious and almost chocolate brown eyes staring back at me, mudslide already gone. _My kind? What the hell does that mean?_

"Shouldn't you be saying our kind?" I said, jerking his glass off the bar and dropping it in the sink, the dried glass from before sitting on a rag. I gripped the edges of the bar and looked him in the eye, not willing to be the first to break eye contact or the first to break the silence. After a solid two minutes, he looked down and sighed, chuckling to himself.

"I say 'your kind', because I left that life behind a long time ago. It just surprised me to see you like this. Last time I saw you, your brother was busy training and polishing you up to be a lawyer, and eventually a partner at a firm of his. Seems that didn't pan out." _He makes it sound so normal. So nonchalant, like we're talking of the weather. As if it doesn't mean a damn thing._

"Yeah, well, brothers' dead. After he died, there was no one to try and please or impress. No one to tell me what my plan was. I made sure to graduate high school, and then I just sort of wound up here." I sighed, glad my voice wasn't shaky. When he heard that Byakuya was dead, he straightened his back a bit and met my eye, but he had no pity, no sympathy for me. Something almost close to… understanding. Acknowledgement.

"Now you, on the other hand, were quite the troublemaker, if memory serves. Sixteen, running wild and getting drunk, gallivanting around with some girl. Half of your family and their associates were convinced she was pregnant when you ran off to Tokyo with her. What was her name? 'S' somthing or -"

"_Senna_. Her name was '_Senna_'. Don't say her name, because you know nothing about her." I had looked down as I started rambling, but his tone chilled me in such a way that I had to look up. But he was already up and to the door, arms sliding into his coat, the bell ringing as he stepped into the cold, predawn morning.

"Ah, don't mind him too much. He is just a bit sensitive, as well as a dumbass." I turned to find Isane a few feet away, behind the bar with me, a small and comforting smile on her face. _If only your words were convincing. _

* * *

_quitting time, quitting time. My favorite part of the night._ I sighed a bit heavily as I locked up the bar, heading to the break room to grab my things and change back into some normal clothes, just me and the two managers left in the bar. The others left, and Ukitake and Shunsui always stayed late to work the books, and sometimes do inventory. They lived upstairs in the two apartments connected to the place, so they didn't mind staying late. I changed quickly, glad to be comfortable again, my feet aching like crazy, but I felt accomplished.

I said my goodbyes and left for the night, streets pretty much deserted at 3 a.m. I lived close by, and a walk is always refreshing, so I headed down the street, not really bothering with a taxi. That late at night, and that close to the red light district, I kept my hands stuffed deep in my coat pockets, head down, and walking at a brisk pace. I got back to that back alley from before, and sped up, nervous to see two figures at the end of the alley, under a flickering light that stood above a door I hadn't noticed before. As I got closer, I let my eyes stray to the door, which was covered in graffiti, and I could make out pounding techno music from behind the door. It pulsed through my head as I passed the couple, a man and a woman, their features bleached out by the light.

"Hey. We got a new shipment tonight. The hard stuff. You wanna babysit me? Since you're _supposedly_ not into that anymore." As I turned the corner, I looked back, shock making me press my body against the wall, face barely peeking around the side, body zinging with the fear of being caught. The girl was quite tall, and in a stunning red dress, with a black fur coat and red heels. She had beautiful blond hair, obviously a foreigner, and spoke Japanese with an accent that seemed distinctly American.

"No, Clarisse. I'm not into that anymore. Why the hell do you want me to do it? I'm sure you fiance would be more than willing. Go find him." Ichigo spoke loud and clearly, jerking his head back to the door, leaning his body up against the brick wall, one foot against it, hands deep in his pockets, head down. Clarisse pouted, her sensual lips glinting red in the harsh street light.

"Oh, _but baby_. Johnny isn't like _you_. All dangerous and _sexy_. Willing to do anything. Especially. In. Bed." She got up real close, tugging on his loose tie, a strange sight on Ichigo. _Jesus, what have you gotten yourself into?! Dealing and doing drugs, getting with foreigners!_ He looked really uncomfortable as she slid her hips into his, her already short dress hiking up even higher, and he turned his face away as she placed her mouth at his neck. _Damn. I can't just leaving him hanging_. I pinched my cheeks really quickly, rubbed my eyes and slammed my boot down on my other foot, so it would look like I was crying and angry.

"ICHIGO! WHO THE HELL IS THIS SLUT?!" I stormed past the corner and towards the two, Clarisse slowly raising her head, Ichigo staring at me in disbelief. I got over there quickly, pushing Clarisse back and slapping Ichigo across the face, so hard that my hand print appeared on his face in vibrant red.

"You said you were going to meet me after work! First, you stand me up, and then you have the nerve to stand me up for this little American whore?!" I was breathing hard, trying to be convincing, and Ichigo's eyes darted in every direction, panic and extreme confusion written all over his face.

"Excuse me, did you just call me a _whore_?!" I turned to Clarisse, who had her arms crossed, foot tapping angrily on the asphalt.

"Well, seeing as you're sucking my _boyfriends _neck in a dark alley in that _sluttly little_ _number_, I think its a pretty safe bet to say I was talking to _you_, sweetheart."

"Wait. _Boyfriend_?! Ichigo, explain this, now!" _Shit. Did I say 'boyfriend'? Didn't mean for that to slip out._

"Uh…" Ichigo seemed at a loss for words and I couldn't really blame him.

"Whatever, Ichigo. I can see that you're busy with the _poor common folk_. Come get me after you throw out the trash." With that, she turned her heel and left the alley, not even going into the club. the sounds of her retreat faded, I sighed and turned to Ichigo, treasuring the priceless look on his face.

"Ok, so -"

"Not need to thank me, kind sir! Eh, look, I just happened to be walking by, you looked like you were in a jam, and I figured -"

"Stop, its ok." He held up his hand to silence me, and I stopped mid ramble, wondering why the hell I just did that.

"Look, thanks for the help, unorthodox it may be. Clarisse isn't exactly my favorite person to hang out with, especially with the fiance and all. She isn't exactly familiar with the word 'monogamy'." He sighed and ran his hand through his hair, looking pretty worn down and just very… tired. Almost tired of life.

"Eh, c'mon, follow me. You look like a you could use a drink. Lucky for you, your company is the best bartender in Karakura!" I grinned real wide and winked, turning foot and heading out of the alley, pleased when I heard footsteps following.

* * *

"Huh."

"What? Got something against my apartment?" I hung my coat and keys in the front hall, kicking off my shoes and stepping up into the apartment, Ichigo following suit. I led him into the kitchen, fiddling around for some liquor as he responded, leaning against the counter.

"No. Just figured it would be more… girly or something. More rich girl-like, I suppose." He pulled a carton of cigarettes from his pocket and lit up without asking, inhaling deeply and puffing out two smoke rings as I found myself a bottle of tequila and a half finished bottle of vodka, and some shot glasses. I led him to the living room and we sat down on the pillows around the low table, glasses clinking as I sat them down, Ichigo still puffing away. I turned on some random station on the radio and poured two shots of tequila, sliding one over to him, as well as a spare ashtray, downing my shot and pouring another before he even put his cigarette out. _What is this that I'm feeling? I feel nervous, jumpy. Like I might jump out of my skin and run for the hills._

"So… you wanna tell me what happened back there? You kind of owe for that." I took one last shot of tequila, wincing and inhaling sharply as he tapped some ash off his cigarette. He leaned his elbow on his bent knee, the other leg stretched out under the table. I somewhat regretted the question after his expression changed. He stiffened a bit, his shoulders shrugging as he took another hit of his cigarette.

"Clarisse is just… someone I met, back in the states. After Senna died… I got really fucked up. _R__eally_ fucked up." He chuckles softly to himself, shaking his hair out of his face. The laugh is so pitiful, full of such self loathing, that I can completely understand it. _To fully understand yourself in such a way that you can laugh at yourself like that… I am all too familiar with that feeling._

"So, what the hell happened to you? Just because he died doesn't mean you had to drop out of that life completely. My dad always admired you intelligence and your attitude. I'm sure you could have gotten a job at his company." _Ah, yes. I forgot about 'Kurosaki Industries'. Doing everything from making medical equipment to selling and distributing it. Should I answer honestly? _Our eyes meet, and I feel like he could use some hard honesty. He looked like he needed a distraction from his own misery, and what's better than your own misery? Someone else's misery. Someone else's fucked up past.

"Well… to be honest, I was in love with Byakuya ever since I was fourteen. After Hisana died." I had looked away, but this time I met his eyes again, not really caring about his reaction. His face went through several phases of emotion, so quickly and so dramatically that I wanted to laugh out loud, but I held onto my composure. His face finally settled on something between disgust and loathsome curious.

"Yeah. And you thought _you_ were the only fucked up. Here, give me one." I pointed at his cigarette and he pulled one out slowly, never taking his eyes off me. I placed the tip between my lips and leaned forward, waiting for a light. The zippo clicked and I inhaled deep, relishing the taste, the burn. I had quit five years ago, but I was know to enjoy on every once and awhile.

"You see, I started hating myself when I turned fourteen. Hisana had died the year before, and I felt so damn… guilty. And so lonely. Byakuya and I got really close after that." I tapped off some ash and took another hit, wishing the burn would fry my entire body, until there was nothing left but ash and dust.

"I think I remember the day I realized I was in love with my sisters husband. It was my fourteenth birthday. The first without Hisana." _Am_ _I really going to relive this for him?_

* * *

_"Come on, Rukia. Wake up. Lets take a day trip." Sunlight leaked into my eyes as a weight settled on the end of my bed. I rubbed my eyes hard and sat up, stretching until everything popped, Byakuya sitting there with barely any expression on his face._

_"Ugh, its my birthday, and I'm allowed to do what I want, right? So can't we just… stay in?" His expression didn't change, but I watched his eyes closely, and watched as they shifted from my face to the headboard behind me. Damn. He got up to leave, and part of me panicked. Why the hell would I throw an opportunity like that away?!_

_"Brother, wait! I… give me ten minutes. I'll meet you in the front hall." He turned back to me, a hand on the door. And he smiled. He smiled with such pain and loneliness, with such tenderness and happiness. As if me spending time with him was enough. More than enough. Like I was good enough. I felt myself blush and looked down as he walked out. My lips were tingling, my hands ached, and my heart was pounding. I pictured Byakuya holding me in a tight embrace, raising my face up to his and then his lips -_

_SMACK!_

_I hit myself right across the face, stopping that thought in its tracks, before it could be born into existence. Before I finally admitted to myself how fucked I was. Before I admitted that I wanted my brother to hold me in a way that wasn't brotherly at all._

* * *

"So, don't feel too bad, Ichigo." I smashed my cigarette into the ashtray, my teeth grinding against each other, as my soul of ice refused to melt.

"Well, if you felt that way… why didn't you just leave?"

"Oh, and take the shit path like you did? No. Plus, just after I turned fifteen, Byakuya started getting sick. The doctors couldn't find anything wrong with him. Not even your father or Unohana could figure it out. I honestly think he just died of a broken heart. Once half your heart, half your soul dies off, its not easy to survive without it. He died before I turned sixteen. I hate myself for saying this, but after he died, it was… easier to live with myself. My dirty thoughts, my fantasies, my dreams. I started cutting myself less. I got pretty destructive, though." _Did I_ _really just say all that?! It must be the liquor making my tongue loose. It has to be._

I pulled my skirt up as high as it could go, not really caring that Ichigo could see. I fingered my scars, smoothing them with my fingertips, letting myself remember the pain, all the blood. Ichigo reached out a hand, cigarette lying in the ashtray, forgotten, fingers cool and foreign against my hot and feverish skin, his hands smooth compared to the rough flesh that marred my pale skin. _What the hell am I even doing anymore?_ I stood up and pulled my skirt down, Ichigo pulling back, trying to cover the redness in his face by downing two shots of tequila. I slid the door open that led to my bedroom, clicking it shut as I slipped into a tank top and sweats, heading back out, shutting off the music and grabbing some pillows and blankets from a nearby cabinet. I threw the remote at Ichigo, as well as two pillows and a blanket.

"Whats this for?" He eyed me strangely as I shoved the table to the back of the little room, laying my pillows and blankets out.

"You are too damn buzzed to be out on the streets alone, and I'm not one to walk little bastards like you home. Put on whatever you want. I like the background noise. Night." He clicked the tv on as I flicked the light off, laying down and turn my back to him, burying myself down as some random variety show came on. _What the hell__ am I even doing anymore? Do I even know who I am anymore?_

* * *

This chapter was a bit weird, if I do say so myself! I honestly don't know what I plan on doing with this. I mean, I have an inkling of an idea, but we'll see how it goes. But, I thank everyone that reviewed/followed/favorited the story, because its you guys that keeps me writing. I promise, chapter three will be up soon! Have a great night, guys!


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

More of the Fucked Up Truth

Rukia

_Ugh. My mouth is like cotton. My head is pounding. If I knew I was going to feel this much like shit, I would have actually tried to get drunk. Eh, fuck. Wait… what's that smell… hot doughnuts?!_ I rolled over and tried to sit up, my head spinning as my eyes cracked open, one half of my face a bit tingly and numb. I stood up quickly, head spinning as I threw the screen door leading into the kitchen open, throwing it so hard that it almost fell out of the track. Ichigo stood at my countertop, coat halfway off his shoulders, his profile facing me, a white box on the counter behind him. It seemed like an intimate scene: him standing there, coat pooling around his elbows, almost off, all movement stopped as I stormed. He gave me a funny look as I looked down and moved around him, his jacket swishing as he went back to hang it up next to the door, scraping his shoes off his feet. I hefted myself onto the counter and opened the box, thirteen steaming hot and freshly glazed doughnuts greeting me._ Baker's dozen, huh? Someone's got a thing for the sweet stuff._ I reached in and grabbed one, fingers slick and burning as I crammed half out it in my mouth, tongue now on fire. I looked up and found Ichigo laughing his ass off, and came up with a mental picture of what I must have looked like right then. I set down what was left of the doughnut and swallowed hard, nearly choking as I laughed with him. It felt like good, deep, belly aching laughter, so good and hard that I found myself wiping the corners of my eyes. It wasn't even a really funny thing. I think we were just both really on edge, and we needed to cool off.

"Impatient as ever, I see. Such a dumbass. About time you woke up, too. Its almost two."

"In the afternoon?" I jumped down from my perch and ran a hand that wasn't covered in glaze through my hair, skin itchy for a bath.

"Obviously, smartass. Anyway, I got these as a sort of… thank you, I guess. So, thank you. For everything." He looked down awkwardly, and I chuckled, wondering why he looked like a cross a spanked puppy and a scolded student. It was actually… kinda cute, in a weird way.

"Eh, don't mention it. Thank you for breakfast, though. If that's all, I'm going to get cleaned up. You're welcome to stay, if you like." I gave him a half smile and headed to the back of my apartment, where my bath was. _Cute?! What the hell am I thinking? I've never found anyone cute… in that way. Except for…_

* * *

I stripped and cranked the water to the hottest setting that I could stand, and pouring in some bath bubbles, called _Icy Breeze_. It was pure white, sometimes with a bluish tinge, and smelled like lavender and snow. It almost always reminded me of icicles, and of when Hisana taught me to ice skate. I climbed into the water and hissed, my skin going from white to pink to red as the water swallowed my petite frame. I didn't really do anything, just let myself sink and float, my nose barely hovering above the waterline, ears muffled and quiet, the water barely rustling in my ears. At times like those, I could actually imagine that life was okay, and that when I stood up and let the water fall away, life would still okay. It never was, but this made me feel better. Almost whole again. Like I didn't walk around with three-fourths of torso missing. I shut my eyes and let myself just _be._

* * *

I walked around the apartment and finally go to the kitchen in just a towel , part of me not caring if he stayed, the other half aching to be near someone. _God, I am pathetic._ I slid the screen door open and found it to be empty, almost cold and desolate, the box still on the counter, the rest of the doughnuts untouched. _Good. I'm glad he's gone._

* * *

Ichigo

_Fuck_. _Clarisse is probably gonna want to meet tonight. Shits gonna fly._ I got home after running a few errands and grabbing lunch and sure enough, the message machine blinked red. I never gave her my real number, just the landline, so she couldn't pester me while I was busy. I dialed the answering machine, and a shriller and more angry version of her voice met my ears.

"Ichigo. Last night was shitty. I'll be waiting outside the bar tonight, once you get off your shift. I expect a very expensive and classy thank you." That was it. No questions, no asking for explanations, just her usual demanding self, though she did sound a bit… off. She's not used to feeling so out of control. She sounded frustrated, and that freaked me out a bit.

A few months ago, we had been having sex while her fiancé was away on business, and in the middle of it, she said something that nearly made me get out of bed and leave the country.

"_I… love you."_

And there it was. Something I hadn't heard in years. The words were so foreign to my senses, I almost didn't process it.

She was unbuttoning my jeans when she said. She didn't even look up or stop. She just said it, like it was the most natural and normal thing to say. A few moments passed in silence, and she sighed, looking up with strained eyes.

"I know you don't feel the same, and I don't want you to say it if you don't feel, it, but say something, damn it." I reached my hand out and cupped her face, so delicate and pretty. At one point, Clarisse had been a pretty decent person, pleasant to be around, and quite intelligent. She had once wanted to be a Shojo Manga editor, one of the reasons she moved to Japan. I met her before she got engaged, a few weeks after Senna died. _Don't dwell on this. It'll only screw with you even more._ I never didsay anything back.

I didn't bother calling her back, because I knew she wouldn't pick up. I got into the shower and just stood there. _Its been one helluva day._

* * *

I wrapped a towel around me and headed to the kitchen for a caffeine fix, steam rolling off my red skin as the cold air met my feverish flesh. I got the coffee brewing and sat down, chin in hand, staring off into space. _Rukia Kuchiki_. What a flashback. We had never been very close, but our families had business associates for some time, so we tried to play nice, though quite honestly, whenever we were left alone, we would argue like crazy. We were both opinionated people, who rarely agreed on anything, and one of us always wanted the last word. We basically hated each other, but in our middle school years, we had decided to not screw with our parents business, and try to be more courteous and polite, not matter how much we wanted to kill each other. Soon, her sister died, and she stopped arguing with me. Whenever I saw her, we would exchange the proper pleasantries, but when left alone, she wouldn't say a word. She would just sit there, never meeting my eyes. I have to admit, I was asshole enough to try and bait her, but she never rose to the occasion. After the first time, I stopped trying to make her talk, and just left her to her own thoughts.

The coffee finished brewing and I poured myself a cup, sitting there and sipping slowly, contemplating, trying to think of a time when she looked at Byakuya like she was in love with him. _Wait a minute…_

_It is just few months after Hisana's funeral, and my family and Byakuya's have been invited to a fundraiser, a ball of sorts, where all are demanded to wear very formal attire and deal with the press. I am fourteen and a stubborn bastard at that. Tuxedos aren't my thing, so I put black skinny jeans, a white button up shirt, a black tie, a black sport coat and ratty black sneakers. I didn't tuck my shirt in, but at least my tie isn't crooked. My dad doesn't really care, but my sisters sure gave me hell._

_I lean myself up against a wall in the rented ballroom when Rukia and Byakuya walk in, arm in arm, donning their finest. He is wearing an actual tux, while she is in a floor length dress. It's black and strapless, and it cinches at her tiny waist and flares out to the floor, with a long train, almost like a real ball gown. When she turns away, I discover that it's back less, and that she has the cutest dimples right above where the dress covers her backside. I feel myself go red and try to turn away, when I bump into a girl, some daughter of a corporate director. She barely comes up to my shoulders, and wears a dress so eye catching, it obviously isn't appropriate for the occasion. But she wears it as if for exactly that reason. It's blood red, with skin tight sleeves that go to her fingertips, but no shoulders or back. It molds itself to her body, but the back is different. Right at her tailbone, lots of red material is padded there and fans out in ruffles, and falls to the ground as a train. It completely obscures her backside, and leaves the shape of her butt to the imagination of the beholder. Her hair is long and glossy black, with a slight purple tint, and it comes down to her waist in long, cascading curls._

_"Hey, watch where the hell you're going, dumbass. Really. We are at a party, have some manners!"_

_"Like you're one to talk, in that outrageous get up! You look like some famous movie starlet, not a proper young lady!" I fire back without thinking, and she cocks her head slightly, chuckling softly, pink spreading across her cheeks._

_"You really think I look like a movie starlet?" Her eyes gleam in the chandelier light, and I find myself captivated by her presence._

_"Um…"_

_"Talk is cheap. Just dance with me." She grabs my arm and leads me to the busy dance floor, and I don't put up much protest. She wraps her arms around me, and I let my chin rest on the top of her head. Her scent is intoxicating and good, my arms secure and comfortable around her. I look over and find Byakuya and Rukia dancing. He holds her in the proper position of a waltz, and to an untrained, nothing is amiss. All my life, I have learned to read people, and while Byakuya is fine, but Rukia is looking away and blushing, her arms shaking the barest bit. She glances at their arms and looks with an ache, a longing… as if she can't stand the space between them. Suddenly, the girl in my arms reached up and ruffles my hair._

_"So, stranger. Got a name?"_

_" … Ichigo."_

_"Mmm. It certainly fits, with that hair."_

_"You gonna tell me yours?"_

_"Maybe. But you've got to earn it." She pulls her face back and winks mischievously, and for the first time in my life, I feel the urge to kiss a girl._

Who knew that I would be the one to kill someone so beautiful and loving and _un__derserving_ of death.

I shook my head and sighed, downing the last of the black sludge I called coffee and headed to get changed. Work was calling, and I only had two hours to go.

* * *

Rukia

_Ugh. My head is pounding, and all I want is a drink. Not even time to open yet._ I got to the bar around six for prep, and Ichigo was already there, getting ready for the dinner service. And apparently, Karaoke Night was every Tuesday and Saturday, so I would have to put up with screechy singing all night, both in English, Chinese and Japanese. Even a few in German. _Like Germans or German speaking Japanese go to bars for fun in Japan!_ I finished cleaning the dishes for the bar and scrubbed it down before going to the main floor to help prep the tables. Isane and Rangiku set up the karaoke machine while Nanao and I swept up and rearranged tables so there was room for someone to stand and sing. The guys prepped the totomis for their reservations, which started as soon as we opened, at eight. Surprisingly, Ichigo was the most requested cook, and therefore the most heavily booked, all the way to midnight. Around seven thirty, the girls and I got changed, and I sat on the bar, listening to the clock tick. I was antsy and on edge, and I just wanted the bar to hurry up and open already, so I could just drown myself in shots, tips and small talk.

Soon, but not soon enough, the place opened, and the first reservation arrived. The bell rang above the door, but I didn't bother looking up as they walked in.

"Yay! Rukia, we found you!" My head jerked up at the sound of my name, and my mouth literally fell open. I was _that_ stunned.

"O-orihime? Tatsuki? Momo? What the hell are you guys doing here?! How did you know?!" I literally hopped the bar and ran to them, arms open to embrace them all. They laughed at my energy, because I usually wasn't this touchy feely, but I had missed them, even if it had only been about two days. Working with them had been a blast, while it lasted.

"Hey, wait. Where's Ishida?" Orihime immediately pouted, and I felt bad.

"Ugh, he left for a business trip in Hokkaido, and ever since her left, she's been so damn moody! He's been gone a day, grow up!" Tatsuki grumbled like her usual self, and I laughed, as Orihime sniffled.

"B-but, this is the first time we've been apart for longer than a d-day since we started dating! Wah!" Momo patted her head, and I just grinned, happy to seem them. They waved goodbye and headed to a totomi, led by Rangiku, with a weirded out expression on her face. I just laughed.

_I may be fucked up, cynical and jaded. I may be a complete a bitch, but I can remember one truth in life: friends are essential. Whatever happens, don't fuck up friendships_.

* * *

Hey, everyone. Sorry this chapter took a minute, but I hope you enjoyed! Thank you everyone that has reviewed, you have helped so much! I really don't think I would continue updating without your support. So, thank you everyone. You are amazing. I promise, more updates will be coming, so keep you eyes open! Have a great weekend!


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

Care To Tell?

Ichigo

_Damn. Thank god dinner service is over. At least I can grab a smoke out back. _I dropped my apron off in the break room and headed to the back alley behind the grill, two cigarettes behind my ears and a zippo in hand. I pushed the heavy steel door open, listening to it grind as it opened up to the empty alley, with cigarette stubs and broken glass everywhere. The cool air made my lungs and the hair on my exposed arms jump, but I went out anyway and leaned up against the brick wall and lit up, arms crossed, right foot against the wall. I got through half of my first cigarette when the steel door banged open and something or someone came flying out. _Rukia?_ Whoever it was immediately headed for the fence across from the brick wall, a fence that led to an abandoned lot. It wasn't holding up very well, and as soon as she jumped up and kicked it, it collapsed into a broken, dust cloud heap. She landed on her feet quite gracefully, her skirt rising up and exposing more scars on the back of her thighs, as well as her underwear. _Great. Something I did not need to see. _

"Eh, you done throwing a temper tantrum, or should I give you some privacy?" I took another inhale of my cigarette as she spun around, red in the face. If this had been a cartoon, steam would have coming out of her ears. She flushed even more and gazed at her boots, tucking some hair behind her ear. It was almost… _cute. _

"You alright, princess? Break a nail in there, or did someone make eye contact with her holiness?" I felt pretty bored, and I could use a distraction. Fucking with the trust fund baby seemed like a good way to go.

"_No, _you conceited little brat! For your information, some guy in there just jammed his hand up my skirt, and that pissed me off a bit. _But, _since I actually want to keep this job, I can't put another drunk into the ER, now can I?" She raked her hands through her hair and gripped the back of her neck, closing her eyes and slowing her breathing down.

"You really have some anger problems, huh?"

"Yes. You have to understand something, Ichigo. Your family, your father, your sisters! You grew up within an easy going environment. The Kuchiki family is a family that demands the best around the clock. To be a Kuchiki, one must _always _be calm and collected. One cannot show any emotion or pressure, and one must always be presentable. Anything less will not be tolerated. After brother died, I still had to keep up the facade, in order to stay in their good graces. If you do not stay within their good graces, you get thrown out of the family. So, as soon as I could, I got the hell out of there, and became a bartender. I wanted nothing to do with the family, and I knew none of them would ever come down here to find me. It was the only thing I could think to do." She opened her eyes at the end of her confession, walking over to me and leaning against the brick wall to my left, arms closed and head back.

"Well, at least you're out." I really didn't know what to say, so I just finished my cigarette and flicked it to the other side of the alley. We kept standing there for a few more minutes before she went back inside, not saying a word. Just as the door clicked, a car turned into the alley. It was Clarisse, driving her fiance's car, a red BMW. It was polished professionally, and her headlights blinded me momentarily as she drove up, the sound of the purring engine filling up the alley. The passenger door popped open, but I didn't move.

"C'mon, Ichigo. Get in. I just want to talk." Not really seeing any harm in it, or a way out of it, I slid into the fresh leather interior, slamming the door shut as she slammed the gas and drove away.

* * *

Rukia

"Hey, Rukia! Ran and I are going to close up, so you head on home, alright? You look worn out." Isane said from the other side of the bar as she stacked up the tables and chairs. I looked up from polishing glasses and smiled gratefully, heading out to change. Ichigo had already gone home, or where ever. _I don't give a fuck. I just want to go home. Today is not going to be a fun day. _

I said my goodbyes before heading out, brisk October air blowing my short hair and coat around. It was only about one a.m., and the streets were pretty dead as I stuffed my hands deep in my pockets and headed home, head somewhere else.

When I finally got to the street across from my complex, I didn't even look up as I stepped into the street. I only looked up as a horn honked and tires screeched against damp pavement, and someone's brights blinded me. Someone rolled down their windows and started cursing at me, but everything felt muffled and thick, my senses muddled. I waved at him and finished crossing the street, walking up the stairs and unlocking the door and stepping into my genkan. I guess I had left a box next to the door, because I tripped and landed hard on my side, the cold of the wooden genkan seeping through my clothes and into my skin. I laid my cheek to the floor and sighed, pushing my shoes off and unbuttoning my coat. I threw my shoes in the corner and threw my coat up onto the main hallway that led into my kitchen. I turned onto my back and stared at the cream ceiling, raising my tight black t-shirt over my head without thinking. I unbuttoned my ripped blue jeans and threw those and the shirt next to my coat, and my socks soon followed.

I laid on my back, spread eagle, body shivering, mind wandering, as my body shook with suppressed tears. _Byakuya. October 15th. It's been eleven years to the day. And yet, after all this time, my dreams haven't changed. My desire for you hasn't changed. I haven't changed, and I hate myself for it._

* * *

Ichigo

"Alright, Clarisse. I'm here, okay? What the hell do you want? If it's about the girl from earlier, she's just a friend trying to cover my ass, alright?" Clarisse sat across from me in a shitty restaurant and bar near the club she usually peddled drugs in. She sipped some water while I smoked a cigarette, ignoring the dirty looks the waitress gave me every time I exhaled.

"No, I figured it was something like that. And, I have no claim on you, so I really don't have any right to be jealous, now do I? Besides, that's not why I called you out. You remember Yoruichi, right?" I jerked my head back to look at her, to make sure I'd heard her right. I nodded cautiously, and she continued.

"Well, recently one of her girls from the brothel came to her from an appointment with a frightening story. Yoruichi's brothel specifically caters to the Yakuza, professional hit men, drug and arms dealers, other types of criminals and sometimes crooked politicians. Well, apparently the girl had just had a politician. And, after a great amount of sake, he started spilling how he had connections with Aizen Industries, and how Gin Ichimaru was a close business associate of his. And, I guess he started to list off all these important schemes he had run with them. He mentioned the name 'Ichinose', and the girl remembered that nine or ten years ago, a daughter of the director for Aizen Industries was murdered, so she got him to spill more. Apparently, Ichinose did something to seriously piss of Aizen, so Aizen ordered a hit out of his currently runaway daughter in retaliation, and then personally killed the hitman himself, to keep him from spilling it to anyone else. Yoruichi contacted me just a few hours ago about it, and I figured that information was important than my petty jealousy. So, yeah." _Ichinose. Senna's last name. Aizen Industries? _

"Thanks. For telling me. I… bye." I threw my half cigarette to the ground and ran out of the restaurant, pushing past the bitchy waitress. _Fuck. Almost ten years, and you're still chasing me, aren't you, Senna?_

* * *

Rukia

"Hey, Isane? Yeah, it's me. Rukia. Uh, can you tell everyone that I'm sick and can't come in today, but that I'll be back tomorrow? Yeah? Thanks. No, I'll be fine, just a little… under the weather, is all. Good luck tonight. I'll see you tomorrow. Okay. Bye." I hung up first and sighed, wondering why I was up before noon. I woke up around eleven and knew I wasn't getting into work today. Some days are just like that. You just know that life isn't going to happen.

I laid in bed for a bit longer, until one, and stumbled out of bed for some coffee. I sat on my counter, legs dangling, listening to the coffee maker stutter and choke as it brewed, as its scent filled my crappy kitchen. I made my coffee and went to go sit in my den, setting my coffee down on the low table and flicking the tv on, laying down on my back, hands above my head, old t shirt rising past my belly button, and a cold breeze made me shiver. I fell asleep like that, wondering if I should go to the cemetery that day.

* * *

Ichigo

I got to work a bit early, around five, to set up, because I was tired of being alone in my apartment. Kyoraku was drunk off his ass, and Nanao was trying to sober him up while Ukitake sat at the bar. I pulled a bar stool next to his and sighed, running a hand through my hair and stealing his last shot of sake, downing it before he could protest.

"Glad to see you in a good mood, Ichigo. Listen, we're going to be a little low on staff tonight because Rukia called in sick, so if the girls need any help, do what you can, okay? You don't have any reservations tonight, so just do what you can - _hey! Where are you running off to?!" _Ukitake's voice followed me as I rushed out of the bar, and I wondered the same thing.

* * *

I rang the doorbell to her door, knowing in my gut that it was right to come, but still wondering _why. She's not the type to just miss work because of a cough. Somethings gotta be up. _After a few minute standing there, the door cracked open, Rukia peering around it, a look of disdain on her face.

"What the fuck do you want? I called in sick, so go away -_hey! _Where do you get off, barging into someones home uninvited?!" I pushed my way in and slammed the door, both of us standing quite close in the small genkan. It made me realize how small she was. She wore only an oversized grey t shirt, so big that it slipped down one of her shoulders, exposing her porcelain skin. Her eyes told me everything. They were red and swollen, and her lips were raw from gnawing on them. Her face was grey almost, and she looked done.

"What's wrong with you, huh? Blowing off work because you 'don't feel well'! Bullshit!"

"What the fuck do you know, okay?! Fuck off you -" I pushed her into the wall of the genkan, folding my arms above her head, leaning in close enough to kiss her.

"When have you ever been one to just give up when the going gets rough? Life sucks, but that does _not _give you the right to just let go of all of your commitments and let life pass you by!"

"Why the fuck do you care so _goddamn much, huh? _I haven't seen you in nearly ten years, and you just feel the sudden need to come and tell me how to live my life!" She spat the words at me, and I saw true hatred in her eyes. But I could tell it wasn't directed to me. Her eyes traveled to something behind me and I turned, to find a calendar opened to this month, with a big red circle around today, October 15th, but nothing written in the box. I turned back to her, but, her eyes wouldn't meet mine.

"What is today?"

"It's nothing. I just have to be heading out soon -"

"Bull_shit! _Something bad obviously happened on this day -"

"_Jesus! _If you want to know so goddamn bad, I'll show you! Just let me go change." She escaped from my arms and ran to go get changed. She hurried back in a tight black jeans and a black button up, a black coat and a white scarf. She slipped her shoes on and pulled me out the door, down the stairs and onto the street. _What the hell am I even doing here?_

* * *

_A… cemetery? Fuck, not a good sign. What have I gotten myself into? _Rukia slid the gate open to a very clean and well taken care of cemetery, walking all the way to the back with purpose.

"Is this… your family's cemetery?"

"Yeah." I just followed her silently after that, until we came to a set of two graves. They both had incense and burners, and I pulled out my zippo and threw it to her. She didn't say anything, just lit the incense and threw the lighter back at me. I finally read the gravestones. They read _Hisana and Byakuya Kuchiki. _Byakuya's death date was October 15th. _Great. Now _I'm _the dumbass. I hate this. So much. _We just stood there, saying nothing, as the smoky sweet incense smoked around us, creating a thick haze, the sun setting slowly, setting the sky on fire. After a while, Rukia fell to her knees, right on top of Byakuya's grave.

"Hey, Byakuya. Another year, come and gone, huh? It's still hard to believe, sometimes. You know, that you're gone. Sometimes, when I wake up, I get confused, and think that any minute, you'll come knocking on my door. And then… then it all just comes _flooding _in. And it feels like you just left me. After so many damn years, it shouldn't hurt so bad. But, it does. And the most _sick _thing about me is… is that I think I miss you more than I miss Hisana." Her voice broke on her sisters name, and she turned around and sat on her butt, back pressed against Byakuya's stone. I honestly don't think he would have minded. Mentally apologizing to Hisana, I sat down next to Rukia, leaning my back against the cold and unforgiving stone. I pulled out a cigarette and lit up, pulling a drag as I pulled another one out and pushed it into Rukia's mouth, her shaking fingers holding it still as I lit it, my zippo lighting up brightly in the semi darkness, the sun almost swallowed by the horizon. She sighed deep as she exhaled, and she looked a bit better. More stable. Grounded.

"So, I found out something today," I glanced over at her, and she didn't say anything as she inhaled, just nodding for me to continue, eyes grateful to have the attention off her screwed up shit. For the moment.

"Apparently, Senna… she was put on a hitlist." And it all just came pouring out. About how I met her at the fundraiser, about how her dad was a director at Aizen Industries, and about how her dad pissed Aizen off enough to have Senna tracked down and killed.

"It was a pretty normal day. We were both just seventeen. It had been nearly a year since we ran away. Her dad never like me, and he especially hated me when I asked for Senna to marry me. He said no, and told me that I was to never see her again. It was her idea to run away. She said she knew some people in Tokyo, drugs and arms dealers, and that we could get into the business to make some quick cash. That's how I met Clarisse. She had always been a close friend with Senna, I guess. Anyway, we had rented an apartment downtown, and I was working with drug dealers: shipping drugs out of the country, doing security, that kind of thing. The money was too damn good to say no to, and I needed to take care of Senna. That day, I got a call late in the afternoon. A cop had called to tell me that my apartment had burned down and that… that they hadn't gotten there in time to get Senna out. I got there as soon as I could, and the whole place was burned to nothing. Just an empty lot. People crying and screaming, holding kids and demanding answers. I just stood there, watching the ashes, wondering which part of it was Senna." I took a deep drag and exhaled, savoring the burn, as Rukia and I watched the sun disappear.

"Recently, I'd pissed off a local dealer by screwing him on a payment, and I thought that he had done it. But, someone got to him before I did, and I had to live with not knowing. I think that's the worst part. Not _knowing _why. After that, I stopped working. Just sat in a dirty motel, doing absolutely nothing. About a week later, my dad tracked me down and dragged me home, and ripped me a new one. It did me some good, though. I finally got it through my head that there were other things to live for _besides _Senna. It was hard, but I've gotten better."

"Better at what? Coping?"

"No. Not with coping. Better with appearing like you're not dying inside."

* * *

_Jesus, how the fuck did I get roped into carrying this basket case home? Whatever. I just hope we get in before the rain hits. _Lightning flashed somewhere behind me, and I flinched a bit as I turned the corner to Rukia's apartment, her slight weight draped across my back. _Who gives adults piggybacks? Seriously._

I climbed her stairs slowly, setting her down to dig through her pockets for her keys. We stumbled into the genkan, just as the rain started pounding onto the roof, relieved we made it. I got our shoes and coats off before heading into the same den that I had stayed in, laying her down on a pile of blankets.

After we had talked, she had fallen asleep in the dark, and I really didn't have the heart to wake her up and make her walk. So, I picked her up, ignoring the weird glances from people on the streets, all in a hurry to take cover from the impending downpour. I looked out a nearby window, and could barely make anything out, the rain was so thick, relentless as it pounded into the side of the building. _Guess I'm not going anywhere tonight. Fine. Screw you, universe. _The power suddenly went out, and I sighed, laying down, arms under my head, staring at the ceiling as thunder cracked and lightning struck, illuminating our bodies in the dark.

* * *

Hey, guys! Happy Easter! Sorry this chapter took so long, I've just been really pumped on this other story I started writing the other night. I know the story has been a bit weird, but thank you for bearing with me, and I promise, romance is coming! I really just wanted to focus on background stories and character development before getting to any romance. So, yeah! I'll see you soon, bye everyone :D


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five

Just Do It

Rukia

I woke up around eleven in the morning, with the sound of light snoring to my left. I jolted up, sunlight filtering through the window and temporarily blinding me as I took in the scene. Ichigo was sleeping just a foot away, arms tangled above his head, orange bed head and wide open mouth, snoring loudly, a bit of drool almost falling from his lip, but not quite. I just had to laugh. He looked so much younger asleep, and as I laughed, he twitched, but didn't move. He turned over onto his side, and now he was completely facing me, eyes fluttering a bit, as if he were dreaming. _He looks so… cute. _I shook my head at the thought, hating to even _think _that I was attracted this man.

After Byakuya had died, I had tried to move on, and had been with a few men, but the sex was never anything great, and I never felt any lingering feelings or attraction for the guy, and they never really wanted anything to with me afterwards, which was just fine with me. But, with Ichigo, I had to admit that something felt _different. _I sat up a little, carefully flipping the blanket off his body, to reveal his white t-shirt, black jeans and black socks. He had a long and strong frame, muscular and lean looking. With a sudden urge in my fingers, I reached over and tugged on the end of his shirt with my fingertips, lifting slowly, not wanting to wake him. He had a sixpack, very defined and rock solid looking, and tan skin that rippled with every breath. I wanted to see more, but that very thought shocked me so much, that I jumped up and gripped my head with both hands, muttering curses under my breath as I slid the door open that led to the kitchen, caffeine needed in order to think properly. _Damn it. I don't want this, I don't want this. Not again. Wanting someone out of reach… aching for a touch you've never known. It hurts beyond belief._

* * *

Ichigo

_Huh? Where am I again? _My body twitched and my eyes fluttered as something rustled against the carpet under my back. On instinct, I didn't open my eyes or move too much, trying as hard as I could to appear asleep. It got kind of quiet, but I tried to stay as still as possible, and I had the feel of eyes on me. _Rukia… is it her? It has to be. _My eyes itched to open, but I kept them clenched shut, as air brushed near the bottom of my shirt, and I felt the material slid against my stomach as it was lifted, as if… _Is she looking at my abs?! _I wanted to open my eyes and laugh so hard, but I held it in, nearly choking as I tried to contain myself. As suddenly as she had lifted my shirt, it fell back, and I heard her move again, heading to the other side of the room, muttering to herself as the door slid on the track, closing quickly behind her.

I sat up as soon as she left, running my fingers through my hair and crossing my legs. _What the hell just happened? Does shorty… is she _attracted _to me?_

Rukia couldn't face me as I walked into the kitchen, feet padding across the hardwood lightly, as she hurried about the counter. She was trying to make coffee, but kept dropping spoons and sugar packets, nearly elbowing the blue mug right off the counter. The clock didn't even read noon, but she was nervous. Her hands shook now and again, and she looked like she wanted to fall into the rabbit hole and never look up again. I tried to hold back my laughter, and I didn't dare speak. After a few more minutes of this, she just swept all the spoons into the sink, dishes clattering as she threw the ripped and messy sugar packets away.

"Give me thirty minutes, and then I'll treat you to coffee." She didn't even look my way, but her slight brushing me as she hurried by. She lurched away from me, as if she couldn't stand being near me, and my exposed skin tingled a bit in the place where it had met hers. I turned to watch her as she slid a door open that most likely led to her bedroom. Mouth parched, I swallowed thickly and roughly as she left, wondering what was wrong with my head, and what was wrong with my stomach. I felt a bit sick, and I really wanted to leave, but at the same time, didn't.

I sat down at the small table for two, fingers tapping its cold and slick surface as I waited. Waited for what, I didn't know. Rukia, obviously, but maybe… a sign, too?

She walked back out after about thirty minutes of me sitting at her table and tapping away, thoughts flying to places they shouldn't. _She looks really… good. _I swallowed hard again, as I took in her appearance. Despite the wet cold that probably awaited us outside, she wore a short, pleated black skirt, and long black socks. On top she wore an off the shoulder, loose dark purple sweater, her chin length hair pulled back by a simple white head band. She wore a silver chain with a light blue snowflake at the end, and I noticed she had a cartilage piercing, in the left ear. It was a just a silver industrial bar, nothing special, but it was still pretty cool. On her left ring finger, she wore a silver band, with a cherry blossom fully bloomed at the top, quite pretty and pink, and definitely _not _Rukia.

She also put on makeup, and she did _look _prettier, but she didn't _feel _prettier. I liked her better with a clean face. She brushed right past me, towards the genkan, and I hurried to follow. She had sat down on the lip of the genkan to lace up some flat heeled, black knee high boots, and I slipped into my black shoes and coat, as she buttoned up a black coat nearly identical to mine. She grabbed her keys and, without a word, led me out the door and into the cold and wet morning.

* * *

Rukia

_What the hell was I thinking? Taking him _here! _To my safe haven of addictive coffee and sugary warm doughnuts. Too late now. Whatever. _

Ichigo sat across from me at a table in my favorite cafe, Mushi ha ya kyōyō-bu. It meant 'Steamed Leaves And Common Grounds', and served

some of the best drinks and food in all of Karakura. Thankfully, they were open from six a.m. to nine at night, so I had spent many a boring morning and restless night at the softly worn and shiny mahogany tables. It was down in Western style, with intimate tables for two lining the window walls that looked into the streets, with a long counter where you could sit, observe food and employees, and pick up orders. Replications of some famous and not so famous Japanese paintings lined the walls, as well as generic artwork and banners, and the smell of fresh hot coffee and brewing tea permeated every corner, and the display was chock full of traditional Japanese pastries, as well as ones from other countries.

Ichigo sat there quietly, sipping his black sludge and looking around, while I sipped some calming mint tea. Good for the nerves. My stomach was a bit weird, so Ichigo ate alone, munching on a western style glazed doughnut. I kept looking out the windows, watching the wet day and frustrated people, I could feel Ichigo watching every now and then. Every time I went to take a sip of my drink, his eyes immediately shifted. I couldn't bring myself to eye contact with him. Not after that morning. _What in the hell was I thinking? _

"So, about last night… sorry about unloading all my shit on you, especially on _that _day." I looked up from my drink, and straight into Ichigo's eyes, which I realized were quite unique. They were brown, but some murky boring brown or chocolate brown, more like caramel brown, mixed in with a little chocolate and a little cream. _Why do you have to be good looking? _

He looked at me kind of funny, as I examined his eyes, and I felt myself blush as I cleared my throat and looked away.

"Its fine, I really didn't mind. I needed to get my mind off things anyway. I'm sorry that I talked about her quite rudely that first night at the bar. And thank you for not… judging me. About Byakuya."

"I've met all kinds of people, people who have done terrible things. Believe me, incest is quite pretty and sunshiny compared to _that." _He took a quick sip of his drink and cleared his throat.

"But technically, he was only your brother - in - law, so really shouldn't feel so bad. In love your sisters husband. They're worse things you could be guilty of." He looked away, and left me to stew over his words.

_Well, its just that Byakuya always _felt _like real brother, so I've never really thought of it like that. It doesn't make the feelings I have disappear, but it makes it easier to look at them._

* * *

Ichigo

After the cafe, I thanked her for the food, and we headed our separate ways, but I didn't really didn't feel like going home just yet, and it was only one in the afternoon, so I walked around until I stumbled upon a small park, where girls jogged, guys ran, and people walked dogs or kids. Little cold for running, but some are just like that. How, I don't know. I just dug my hands deeper into my pockets and headed for the little path that followed a tree line, breath puffing out cold and sharp, as a certain raven haired midget tumbled into my mind. Its kind of funny; you try so hard, and tell yourself not to think about something, making you think about it even more.

_That shirt thing. That was weird. I mean, she obviously thinks I'm a dumbass. I mean, I _am _a dumbass. And she's not exactly quiet about her opinions. So, what?! I mean… God, why can't I just read minds? That would be just great. Yeah. But, I can't read minds, so… well, she _is _really pretty. And, she is really feisty, very open about things. I like that kind of blunt honesty she has. Or maybe it's just her being bitchy. Either way, it is refreshing, and I do appreciate. The only person who has ever been so blunt and open with me was Senna. _

My feet followed the path, which followed the trees, and more joggers passed me by, and I felt a raindrop on my face. _Great, now it's raining. Haha, Universe. Haha. _

I headed into work at about five, and around five thirty, the rain finally let loose, flooding the streets before anyone else got there. In the bar, it was only me, Kyoraku, and Rukia. The news channel said that the streets weren't safe, so Kyoraku called them all and told them not to worry, that the bar would be closed tonight. Ukitake was with Dr. Unohana, getting a monthly checkup, and Kyoraku went into his office to balance the books. I noticed the bottle of sake under his arm, and figured not a whole lot would be accomplished tonight. Rukia sat at the bar, reading a book, while I cleaned some stuff up in the totomis and the kitchen. I felt kind of awkward just standing there as she read.

After that ran out, I walked back into the bar, and over to the pool tables in the corner, and were a bit in disuse. A lot of the customers got so plastered that they never had the time or a clear head for pool, so they were in pretty good condition. I racked the balls and set up the cue ball, stick making contact and hitting quite accurately, scattering the other colorful balls. A purple striped one fell into the pocket, and got to work, aiming between lines of solid balls to get the striped ones in the pockets. It only took me about ten minutes, since I was alone, and got the eight ball in quickly. Something grabbed my attention, and I turned to the pool table behind me, about five feet away, to find Rukia sitting on the lip of the table, ankles crossed and swaying as the dangled over the floor.

"Pretty good game you got. Though, to really prove whether you're good or not, I'll try you out. C'mon." She hopped down from the table and went over to the cabinet and grabbed a stick. She leaned it onto the table and racked the balls, setting up the cue ball and taking the first hit. Solid went in, so I was stuck with striped again.

We didn't really do any talking as we observed each others moves, looking for openings and ways to screw with each others game. In the end, she won, and I had actually been trying to win. She was just too good. She smirked as I stored the balls under the table and the sticks in the cabinets, walking over and behind the bar to get something drink. I picked up her worn book, paperback, and read the title aloud, a bit surprised at the choice.

"Select Stories And Poems by Edgar Allen Poe." Glass clinked as she reopened a bottle of expensive red wine, pouring her glass as she went about making me an Ultimate Mudslide. _Surprised she remembered. And she made it really well last time. _

"Ah, I've trying to brush up on my English, and Edgar Allen Poe is one of my favorite Macabre writers. Byakuya liked a few pieces by him, so I read up on him, and found I liked him a lot. Do you like anything by him?"

"None of the poems every really popped out, but I always liked The Tell Tale Heart. The Red Masque of Death, and The Black Cat are really good too."

"Yeah, those are some of my favorites. Annabel Lee has to be my favorite poem, though." She turned back to me, and set my dessert down in front of me, and I nod appreciatively, as she sits on a stool behind the bar, sipping her wine. I set the book down and took a seat, as an idea came to mind.

"Y'know, you and Poe a kind of the same."

"What do you mean?" She set her glass down and met my eyes, giving me her full and undivided attention. It was somewhat strange and pleasant, having her full attention like that. I swallowed hard.

"Well, he was in love with his first cousin Virginia, right?" I waited for a response, and she nodded, understanding reaching her eyes.

"And their family didn't agree with their feelings, and she was only thirteen, but they still loved each other, so they faked her age on a marriage license and got married. Both of you were in love with people society deemed wrong and inappropriate. Maybe you're not the exact same, but still

similar. See? No matter how much you respect someone, you have to realize that they're human too, and have the same feelings, fears and problems - why are you looking at me like that?" Rukia had clasped her hands on the bar, and her eyes were nearly popping out of face, disbelief written all over.

"It's just, I've been reading Poe for _years. _And I've never realized it. Now, some dumbass with half a brain says that, something so mature and meaningful. It shocked me for a minute." She looked away awkwardly, go a bit red, as she took a few mouthfuls of wine, lips stained just a bit red.

"Well, people are pretty good surprising each other. But, I'm sure me having a full brain is just a fluke, so don't get used to it. And remember, stupidity is contagious." I lifted an eyebrow and lifted my glass. She lifted hers too, and we toasted to my stupidity. She laughed, and I laughed. It was new. It was nice.

* * *

Rukia

_I can't believe he made such a connection with Poe and I. I've always loved Poe, and now I feel closer to him. _We sat across from each other, laughing at his stupidity, and I felt my heart flutter as he directed a full, sexy grin at me, eyes lit with happiness. _What is this? What am I feeling?_


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six

Whose Life Is It Anyway?

Ichigo

It was about around midnight when Rukia fell asleep over her worn paperback, slouched over the bar, nursing her third glass of wine. It was kind of cute, the way the side of her head laid on her right arm, hair messy, breath slow and even, eyes fluttering. Her eyelashes were really long, so they cast shadows below her eyes. She shivered as thunder cracked outside, and I went into the break room to grab her coat from the rack, laying over her sleeping form, when I heard a loud noise, and the lights went out.

"What?! Who's there?!" Rukia's panicked voice came out of the dark as more thunder shook the air, and I heard a chair scrape as something crashed into me, arms wrapped around my waist, as if we were lost at sea, and I was the only thing standing between her and a watery grave.

"Rukia, calm down, its me! Ichigo! Just calm down. We're at the bar, and all the streets are flooded. Kyoraku headed up to his apartment a little bit ago, and he fell asleep. The power just went out a bit, so just… calm down. Please." Her body shook as more thunder assaulted the outside world, and I awkwardly patted her head before placing my arms around her. After a moment of just standing there, I reached out behind me and moved a few of the stools from the bar, and slid us both down to the ground, my back against the wall of the bar, Rukia still desperately clinging to my body.

"Wow. That's funny shit." I laughed, and I felt Rukia tense up a bit in anger.

"What are you laughing at?"

"Just never figured that the Ice Queen would be afraid of storms." She sighed at that, and I stopped laughing, as the atmosphere tensed.

"What?"

"Its just… my parents died in a car accident when it was raining and thundering, like this. I was about seven, and I was staying at a friends house, and Hisana had stayed home. My parents were picking me up, and we got into an accident. I was the only to survive. Hisana… she took over the role of both parent and sister after that. She was always there for me, and she would… she would hold me, whenever it would storm like this. After she died, Byakuya was the only other person who knew about that, so he would hold me. After he died, I had to endure alone. So, sorry, but can you just… just hold me a minute, ok?" Her voice broke on the last word, and I didn't really know what to say to that. _She always seemed so strong, so sure… this side of her, this weakness…. it kind of scares me. If she can break, what says I can't be next?_

"And if you tell anyone, I will cut out your tongue, got it?" _Ah, she's back._

"Whatever. Just be quiet for a minute. Actually _listen _to the rain. Sometimes, it can sound nice. Not always. Usually it sucks, but tonight, it sounds different." I placed my chin on what I thought was her head, and I felt soft hair. The rain that night sounded almost _mournful, _hitting the sides of the building with full force, rain pounding into the roof, wind loud and uncontrollable.

"The wind sounds like… like its _howling." That's a good word for it. _

And then, the lights buzzed and flickered back on, light blinding us both. I winced as Rukia quickly jumped up, skirt rustling, and I saw flash of black lace before looking away, face flushing. Rukia's eyes wouldn't meet mine as I stood and brushed dust off my jeans. Her face was red, hands tense and fisted, arms crossed across her chest. _I really want to… What? Do what?! Jesus, I haven't felt this stupid and young since… since _Senna.

I closed some of the space between us, feet shuffling across the hardwood, Rukia almost scrunching away from me, but she didn't move away. I kept my hand steady as I reached it out, fingers barely brushing her smooth and pale skin. Her eyes closed halfway as I leaned in just a bit, not even really sure I wanted, my eyes on her eyes. My eyes dropped for just a second, to her pale pink lips, and I leaned in even closer, my lips parting, just as they brushed against hers.

* * *

Rukia

_His lips are warm. Feverish, even. He's__ kissing me… and I'm not fighting him? _His lips barely brushed mine, almost teasing, and he pulled back, and I opened my eyes fully, his eyes sparkling in the light, excited but guarded. Without even letting myself think of the consequences, I raised my hands and pulled his face back to mine, eyes closing as I kissed him, and he kissed me back. My skin seemed to light up, heart beating fast and my hands were shaky as I pulled at his hair, his neck, his shirt collar, his bottom lip with my teeth. He seemed to like that, turning me and pushing my back against the lip of the bar. Something must have possessed us; as we kissed, he lifted me onto the bar, and I wrapped my legs around his waist, as I opened my mouth and let our tongues touch, softly at first, but then rougher, as his hands tugged on my hair, on my shirt.

One hand slid down my back and under my shirt, skin lighting as he ran his hand all over my back, and I felt hot, my tight skirt suddenly _too _tight. My hands shook as I moved my fingers to his shirt buttons, and I got about three undone, lips barely parting for breath, when I heard someone clear his throat.

We broke apart immediately, Ichigo's fingers hurrying to redo his buttons, as I fixed my shirt and ran a hand through my hair, fingers patting my tingling and sore lips. Kyoraku stood not ten feet away, standing before the office door, arms crossed, a dirty smirk on his face.

"Now," he said, one eyebrow arching in a suggestive way.

"I don't mind relationships amongst my employees, but only if it doesn't interfere or _happen _at work, okay? Good. I came down for something, but… ah, oh well." He turned and left, to the set of stairs that led to his and Ukitake's apartments.

In the silence left by Kyoraku's departure, I couldn't look at Ichigo. _What the hell is wrong with me?! I _kissed _him! We kissed… No, I can't like him. I just _can't. _This can't go any farther, no matter what we feel. _

"Rukia, I-"

"No, Ichigo. Its fine. We didn't mean anything by it -"

"Look me in the eye and _tell _me that that kiss meant nothing to you. Do it, and I'll forget it all." His strong arms grasped my shoulders, squeezing me in, forcing my head up, my eyes meeting his. He looked hurt. Hurt and frustrated and confused and… _scared. _My eyes must have been a mirror image of his, and I let my eyes drop.

"Ichigo, I can't… I can't _say _that, but I can't do _this! _Not right now, not next year, maybe not ever. Please, Ichigo. Find someone who can be with you the way you deserve. I'm too broken and fucked up for this. Just… leave me alone." His hands slowly slid down my arms and to his sides, hands loose and shaky. I couldn't meet his eyes. I turned away and headed for the girls bathroom, his final words shocking me.

"I'm not giving up on you. I'll make you mine." The door slammed behind me, and I slid to the cold tile. _Why?! Why do you care so much? _

* * *

Ichigo

The storm eventually let up around three a.m., and Rukia left at about five, not even looking at me. I waited ten minutes, and left too, feet shuffling across soaked concrete. Some trees had fallen, but it looked like most of them had missed the powerlines, and there didn't seem to be any other damage. When I got home, I stripped and got into the shower, cranking the dial until it wouldn't go any farther, skin shivering and turning mottled red as soon as it made contact with the water. I leaned my head against the tile wall, the water pounding into my back, as I marveled over my own stupidity. _What the hell was I thinking?! Kissing her right then was _not _a good idea. _

I let the water wash away my mistakes, wondering if reality was real or not at this point, or if I had just dreamed it all up.

* * *

I got out of the shower toweled off, wrapping it around my waist, sitting on my couch and flicking on the tv, not paying attention. I must have fallen asleep, because when I woke up, my phone was blinking in the table, with eight missed calls from Kyoraku. It was about eight thirty, and I wondered what was going on as I called him back.

He picked up, and in a feverish voice, told me something that had my heart stop for a beat.

"_WHAT?!" _

* * *

Rukia

I left the bar around five, and the outside world was quite cold and wet, but not a whole lot of damage was visible, and I shivered as menacing clouds seemed to shift above. I took the alley shortcut again, brick walls still dripping with rain. It was dark, and I jammed my hands deeper into my pockets. I heard an odd scraping sound behind me, and turned to see a man following me. He held a metal baseball bat in his hand, and was letting it drag along the asphalt, creating a sound quite similar to nails against a chalkboard. I turned my body fully towards him, dropping my bag to the ground, blood boiling. _I've had one hell of a night, and I'm ready for an all out fight. Come one. A little closer. I'll take your goddamn head off!_

"C'mon, you dirty bastard! You going to get an closer, or make me come to you? I can work with that." I rushed him, closing the three yard distance in a few quick sprints, jumping up and taking air, aiming my right foot right for his head. For some reason, he was able to anticipate this, raised his baseball bat, and swatted my leg away, as if I were some pesky fly buzzing around his lunch.

I hit the ground hard, and I felt my leg fracture. I landed on my back, the wind knocked out of me, as the man stood above me, bat over his shoulder, and he peered down, face obscured in early morning darkness.

"Don't really understand _why _the boss man is so interested in Ichigo and getting even. Eh, money's money, so I guess I shouldn't be too concerned. Sweet dreams, sweetheart." I barely had the time to hear the bat whistle through the air before my entire skull fractured and exploded into pain.


End file.
